Winter in the city

Winter in this city can be lonely and tough-
unyeilding concrete buildings instill a deep chill in your bones, a small unsettling feeling seeps in amongst the dark, dank river bridges and the jostle of drunken jarring night time streets. I knows this absence well, as it approaches through cracked windowpanes and rises up into the nose in piss reeking stairwells of decaying high rise flats.

On the streets people rush by at speed and i become illusory and imagine you walking these streets as well. You pull your coat closer to you to tighten that fragile circle of warmth around you and revel in minute security it affords you. I remember you always as without jumpers, and wearing your only pair of leaking plimsole shoes, striding like you were royalty always. Pride cloaked your shoulders better than any regal robes. But the reality of the precariousness of your existence remained- Standing scarecrow like on the side of the road, thumbs out, hanging on the moment. My one pair of heels and battered couture hat creating an illusion to hide the hunger which curled at the bottom of our bellies.

Our ride-rode on chance, on your all encompassing smile and quick wit and my quiet haughtiness and ability to pose! So here we are again, in another car sitting with another lift giver, life saver. You are selling your eagerness, your image, your musical self- and i sit back and contemplate the long line of yur back, imagining the ways your limbs will later uncurl themselves from our crumled bed of night time exhaustion; and wonder who you really are. Whorishly we will sell ourselves, in differeing ways, both to others and eventually to each other. We tried to remain aloof from the world, thought we were so wise and yet as is the way of the time it construed ways to bring us back down to earth. I thought i could out bid you, play this game far more magnificently than anyone else but you were conquered by another and i stepped of this board into the swirling mass of contradiction, of contemplation without clarity!

I hope this cold city affords you more warmth, my bony branch like limbs are not a comforting pillow to envelope you, may these new arms be a soft cushion to your world weary head.